Pregnancy posting

Back in May 2006 I posted a blog entry entitled 'to baby or not to baby' about whether or not to have children... At the beginning of this year I started writing short book on this topic, I may post some of it up here one day - I got about halfway through. Needless-to-say I was trying to work out whether it was really for me and when would be the right time etc...

In July of this year I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't planned at all and was of course a bit of a surprise, but then again, we were taking risks - and we were both complicit in this. It's almost as if deep down our bodies had decided that the time was right though our minds may not have. Interestingly we didn't even discuss not having it, it was as if it was a non-issue. Still, that doesn't mean to say it didn't screw with my mind quite considerably - and if I think about it too much, it still hurts my head.

So now I'm just over 21 wks pregnant. We've had 3 scans all in all (including nuchal fold & anomaly) and, those, together with my fast expanding stomach, suggest to me that this is really happening.

The first 3 mths were ok, I wasn't sick at all (although I felt a little icky now and then, but nothing that a bunch of grapes couldn't sort), and wasn't too tired. These last few weeks, however, have been pretty awful - almost as if I'm being punished for having it easier earlier on. Intense pains in my back, legs, pelvis and lower stomach - and that coupled with having 5 fibroids, 2 the size of small oranges, means that I'm not so comfortable, have to take lots of paracetamol etc. and sleep very poorly. So I've been ranting a lot about this, bending the ear of anyone who makes the serious mistake of asking me how I am.

HOWEVER, I have decided that one pain-management technique (as well as physio etc.) has to be changing my mental attitude. This blog will therefore now provide the space for this. Over the next few weeks I plan to post pictures and positive thoughts, if only for the sake of this little creature inside of me. It might be that someone else reading this has found pregnancy considerably harder or at least different from friends/textbooks, and are also looking for ways forward...

At the end of the day I am an incredibly lucky person and we are genuinely extremely excited about our future sprog - it's just this feeling is somewhat dampened when I'm not well, when I'm in so much pain that my mind drifts off to radical pain relief techniques like jumping off a cliff (this is a joke of course, but the desperation at that point is concerning). I want some humour too, and so I'll go looking for that - it's clear this post has been entirely devoid of it! Ha ha.

Expose the ignorant atheist haters!

I came across this article in the guardian this weekend: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/oct/24/atheism-religion and I couldn't decide whether to be more amused or appalled by the blatant inaccuracies and untruths. Luckily, some eloquent commentators have picked up upon her falsities, but simultaneously the odd lunatic has jumped to her defence. Sifting through the comments and not wishing to repeat any of the obvious points, my concern would be her insensitive interchanging of the notion of humanist and atheist. Not all atheists would claim to be humanists, and I think this is an important distinction that she fails to make. Humanism is a philosophy and it is a much debated one, and not all humanists have the same position in relation to world religions - though many would take the atheist stance. I think Richard Dawkins' 7 point scale of position in relation to the existence of God(s), described in The God Delusion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_God_Delusion) is a useful point to start...
My second point would be her ignorant portrayal of humanist funerals. I have not been to many, but I have met a number of others who have (including BHA officiants who have taken these). They are incredibly personal and sensitive celebrations of peoples' lives - in stark contrast to the church funerals I have attended. Two recent church funerals I've attended included vicars: (a) getting the name of the deceased wrong; (b) taking the opportunity to chastise the partner of the deceased for not believing in god; (c) indulging in speaking at length about the relationship he had with the deceased and down-playing the relationship friends and family had had. Humanist ceremonies - whether weddings, namings or funerals - are about celebrating life, they are about hope and they are about the ability of human beings to make this world a better place - because we are human and not because of any deity. Simple as really. But it is very much mistaken to assume all atheists or agnostics subscribe to this philosophy.

Two complaints to two big companies, is this healthy?

I am fast turning into someone Alan Bennett might write about, a lady of letters of sorts. I am both embarrassed and pleased by my overwhelming desire to fight consumer injustice.
1. THREE (the mobile phone company): Over 4 years ago I had a £99 friends and family 3 month trial. I returned the phone and cancelled the contract after a couple of months in view of the fact that few people had 3G phones yet. I then received a load of fabricated bills from 3 - which, after long discussions with customer services turned out to be the result of a 'massive computer error' and was assured that my account had been closed and that I owed nothing.
Last week I got phoned up by a debt collecting agency informing me that I owed 3 £113.40. I basically told them it was a load of bollox but went through quite a lot of stress and time speaking to people who hadn't got a clue what I was talking about in India, emailing/writing and not being able to access Head Office. After a couple of days I finally got a response and apology, and eventually the issue was resolved... After a bit of a fuss and an insulting offer of £30, I got sufficient compensation.
2. GINSTERS: I bought a Ginsters sausage roll - it was full of gristle, disgusting. I sent it back to them. They sent me a £5 postal order for my troubles, nice.