Drinking poetry

It's Christmas time - my brain was refusing to work yesterday, instead it wrote lots of poetry when it was trying to nurse a hangover and think about what presents to get people. Here is some of the amuuuuuuuusingingly bad poems about greed and drinking that it created:

GREED:
I eat my ear
and watch my cds
and drink my sex
and hear my fat
and I want more.

ALCOHOL:
He drank to spend his hard earned cash
The money got soaked in gin,
The more the wine swam through his brains,
The more his head gave in.
The more he danced drunk like a fool,
The more they downed the lights,
The more he thought he'd conquered all,
Oh the more his mouth talked shite...