More ranting poetry....

Actually my brain produced 12 shit poems in total, here are two more:

Intolerance
There is nothing worse
than a person
sitting on a train
sniffing on a train
sitting near me
for 3 whole hours.

Labido (apologies for the language used, no really, I am very sorry, it is quite unnecessary).
Sexual desire is the most evil fucker,
one could do so well without it.
Ten years from now I could achieve all my goals
but sex will serve to fuck it!

Drinking poetry

It's Christmas time - my brain was refusing to work yesterday, instead it wrote lots of poetry when it was trying to nurse a hangover and think about what presents to get people. Here is some of the amuuuuuuuusingingly bad poems about greed and drinking that it created:

GREED:
I eat my ear
and watch my cds
and drink my sex
and hear my fat
and I want more.

ALCOHOL:
He drank to spend his hard earned cash
The money got soaked in gin,
The more the wine swam through his brains,
The more his head gave in.
The more he danced drunk like a fool,
The more they downed the lights,
The more he thought he'd conquered all,
Oh the more his mouth talked shite...

Door-2-door advertising reaches a new level

This has just been put through my front door. Now, despite its incredible grammatical errors and damn-right poor English I think it's got a real point to make - I might just phone Mr Morro up, he's clearly one cool guy...

'THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITHOUT SOLUTION
Mr Morro
Can solve your problems
Maintain family ties and Relationships
Keep loved ones, gives you and your family wellbeing
Sustain love and enliven love, get rid of bad luck, Black Magic
or get rid of Evil Spirts from the affect one.
Become Healthy from Sickness of all kinds
He is also capable of solving all
Psychological, Financials, Socials and Academic problems.
Work by correspondence and Appointments.'

I kid you not - word for word, space for space, capital letter for capital letter.... and then it is accompanied by two little arbitrary images of the crown as if this adds legitimacy. Jeeeesus who are these people?

It is November! When the **** did that happen?

Ok, so I've been a bit tardy of late. I haven't written for many weeks, but I have some excuses. Much work, strange trip to Spain, humanist celebrant training, turning 30, time in China, teaching about 4 postgraduate courses... and well, general procrastination. I must admit, I haven't had to urge to write at all either, a passing fashion perhaps? My taller half has a theory that in blog women write the truth and men write absolute bollox... do you think this is so? He still doesn't know I write this from time to time, and well, even women can be self-delusional so who really knows what is the truth and what is fiction...
So, we've reached November all-bloody-ready. Christmas decorations everywhere as we slide on the slippery slope to Christmas day guilt-riddled over-indulgence so that we can purge ourselves nicely come the new year. I have already had enough of my family and so am running away to France for the Christmas period to be with hubby's bunch... 'Hubby', what a disgusting term.
I have had things to rant about but now I have reached that ripe old age of 30, I think I should let a few things pass over me... I certainly find myself being less 'bovered' (to use a Catherine Tate phrase, ahh the genius of red-heads see!)... does this mean I'm all growed up now?